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Basic InformationMore Information"I have benefited from AA and the 12 Steps... Very much so!"A Better MeetingAA Is To Shame As A Hot Knife Is To ButterAging and Alcohol UseAlcoholic's Anonymous, Outcomes and New Research on AlcoholismAlcoholics Anonymous (AA) is a Cult ?An Alternative to PowerlessnessAttachment to OutcomesAwakeningConcerning Problems Within AADefining and Understanding the Concept of Denial, Addictions and OtherwiseGauging the Effectiveness of One Component of Alcoholics AnonymousHow Drugs Affect The BrainHuffing: Parents and Kids BewareIts Never Too LateLike Phoenix Risen from the Ashes of Addiction, A New Addiction Recovery ProgramNIDA InfoFacts: Drug Abuse and AIDSNIDA InfoFacts: Drug Addiction Treatment MethodsNIDA InfoFacts: Drugged DrivingNIDA InfoFacts: Pregnancy and Drug Use TrendsNIDA InfoFacts: Understanding Drug Abuse and AddictionOn the Question of Medical MarijuanaPain Pills, A Real PainPerverse MotivationRandom Thoughts About Addiction, Delusions and HallucinationsRecoverySelf-EfficacyStaying Sober: Dealing With TemptationsSteering Versus DriftingThe Author of Your FateThe Enlightened PathThe Impeccable PathThe Mentality of ChildhoodThe OPEN PathThe Paradoxical Sinclair Method For Treating Alcohol DependenceTwo MindsWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Annie Fahy, MSW on Motivational InterviewingWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with John C. Fleming, MD on Preventing AddictionWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Laurence Westreich, MD on Helping Families Help Addicted MembersWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Marc Kern, Ph.D. on Rational Alternatives to Alcoholics AnonymousWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An interview with Morteza Khaleghi, Ph.D. on the Importance of Treating Emotional Trauma in Addiction Wise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Patt Denning, Ph.D. on Harm Reduction Psychotherapy for Substance Abuse and AddictionWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Stefanie Goldstein, Ph.D. on Mindfulness and Addiction TestsLatest NewsComputer-Based Screening May Reduce Teen Substance AbuseTeen Impulsiveness Has Different Sources in ADHD, Substance UseAccelerated Aging Evident in Cocaine-Dependent IndividualsMany Who First Misuse Prescription Pills Get Them From Friends, Family: ReportCocaine Habit Might Speed Brain AgingUse of Ecstasy, Speed by Teens Tied to Later DepressionHalf of Young Cigarette Smokers Also Smoke Pot: Survey12-Step Meetings May Help Teens Beat Alcohol, Drug AbuseAlcohol Use With Opioids Common Even Without Abuse PastSubstance Abusers, Even Recovering Ones, May Face StigmaDrug, Alcohol Abuse Common Among U.S. Teens, Study FindsAlcohol Effects on Brain Activity Vary With Blackout HistoryPrenatal Meth Exposure Linked to Behavioral ProblemsExcessive Drinking Costs U.S. Colleges Millions AnnuallyKids Using Synthetic Pot a Growing Public Health ConcernSpring Break Boozing May Put Young Brains at RiskMany Alcoholics Suffered Childhood Trauma: StudyGenes Play a Role in Drug Abuse Risk Among Adopted Kids: StudyNarcotic Painkillers Another Threat to Traumatized War Vets: StudyDrinking Scenes in Movies May Spur Teens to Do the SameStrict Underage Drinking Laws May Deter Delinquency in TeensEcstasy Use During Pregnancy May Harm Fetus: StudySupport for Tougher Liquor Laws Rises When Booze, Crime LinkedBooze in Movies May Fuel Teenage Drinking1 in 10 U.S. Kids Lives With Parent Who Has Abused Alcohol: ReportStop-Smoking Drug May Also Curb Problem DrinkingIllicit Drugs Bought Off Internet May Be Poisons, Experts WarnHard Drug Use in Middle Age Could Prove Fatal, Study FindsDrinking Late in First Trimester May Be Most HazardousAlcohol Targets Brain 'Reward Centers' in Heavy DrinkersOne in Six Americans Binge Drink: CDCMeth Users Much More Likely to Try SuicideFor Some Couples, Binge Drinking Is RoutineStates Crack Down on Drunk Drivers This Holiday SeasonDrug Overdoses Kill More Americans Than Car Accidents: CDCAlcohol Use Down, Pot Use Up Among U.S. TeensDrunk Driving-Related Deaths Surge During the Holidays'Ecstasy' May Cause Long-Term Changes in Brain ChemistryToo Much Alcohol Linked to Unsafe Sex, Study ConfirmsIf Parents Drink and Drive, Their Kids May Too: StudySmart Kids More Likely to Try Illicit Drugs as Young AdultsHelping Others Helps Teens Beat Substance AbuseDrugs Slipped Into Drinks Sending Many to ER: ReportHeavy Meth Use Linked to Schizophrenia'Fake Marijuana' May Trigger Heart Trouble in TeensMore Than a Third of Teens Turning to Alcohol, Drugs: StudyMore People Landing in the ER After Abusing Muscle Relaxant: ReportDeaths From Abuse of Painkillers Triple in a Decade: CDCNational Drug Take-Back Day Scheduled for SaturdayPot Can Mimic Brain Changes Seen in Schizophrenia Questions and AnswersLinksBook ReviewsSelf-Help Groups |
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An Alcoholic's LamentFri, Apr 14th 2000I've been in a relationship for 7 years, my boyfriend and I have a son together. I've been diagnosed with bipolar, and recently have started taking medication. About 4 months ago I started drinking almost every day, to the point of memory loss, passing out. Alcoholism runs in the family. And I knew I needed help - I just didn't seek it soon enough. Last month (on a drunken' stupor), my boyfriend walked in on me and one of his friend having sex. I don't remember how it started, I don't remember the act of having sex, all I remember of that evening is my boyfriend walking in. After that is even a blur. Looking back, I realize my boyfriend and I had a lot of problems with our relationship, actually 'we' had no relationship, we were just being together. But regardless of the problems, the cheating is not my typical behavior. I've never cheated on him, never even had a desire to. After that 'incident' I took 2 weeks off work and went to my parents for one week and did a lot of thinking. When I got back, he and I talked and talked and talked. We agreed about how we had lost 'our' relationship somewhere and that perhaps we could start all over and try to get to know each other again and such. So, now we have our good days and bad days. But the bad days are bad. Twice now when he comes home and been drinking he yells screams, hits me and basically will torment me till he falls asleep. But, last night I had to leave. When I went home this morning to get ready for work, he apologized and wanted me to hold him. That was so hard. I know I hurt him, I know he is so confused about what to do. He wants to break up, then he doesn't want to. I see him struggling with all of this and it hurts so bad. As strange as it may seem, because I don't recall 'that incident' it doesn't 'feel' like I've done anything. I know I have. He doesn't believe the memory loss, he wants to know exactly what happened, who instigated and I don't remember any of it. I guess my question is - is it possible for this relationship to overcome what I have done??? THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.
- 'Anne' is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
- 'Anne' bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
- Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by 'Anne' to people submitting questions.
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- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.
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