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Basic InformationMore Information"I have benefited from AA and the 12 Steps... Very much so!"A Better MeetingAA Is To Shame As A Hot Knife Is To ButterAging and Alcohol UseAlcoholic's Anonymous, Outcomes and New Research on AlcoholismAlcoholics Anonymous (AA) is a Cult ?An Alternative to PowerlessnessAttachment to OutcomesAwakeningConcerning Problems Within AADefining and Understanding the Concept of Denial, Addictions and OtherwiseGauging the Effectiveness of One Component of Alcoholics AnonymousHow Drugs Affect The BrainHuffing: Parents and Kids BewareIts Never Too LateLike Phoenix Risen from the Ashes of Addiction, A New Addiction Recovery ProgramNIDA InfoFacts: Drug Abuse and AIDSNIDA InfoFacts: Drug Addiction Treatment MethodsNIDA InfoFacts: Drugged DrivingNIDA InfoFacts: Pregnancy and Drug Use TrendsNIDA InfoFacts: Understanding Drug Abuse and AddictionOn the Question of Medical MarijuanaPain Pills, A Real PainPerverse MotivationRandom Thoughts About Addiction, Delusions and HallucinationsRecoverySelf-EfficacyStaying Sober: Dealing With TemptationsSteering Versus DriftingThe Author of Your FateThe Enlightened PathThe Impeccable PathThe Mentality of ChildhoodThe OPEN PathThe Paradoxical Sinclair Method For Treating Alcohol DependenceTwo MindsWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Annie Fahy, MSW on Motivational InterviewingWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with John C. Fleming, MD on Preventing AddictionWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Laurence Westreich, MD on Helping Families Help Addicted MembersWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Marc Kern, Ph.D. on Rational Alternatives to Alcoholics AnonymousWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An interview with Morteza Khaleghi, Ph.D. on the Importance of Treating Emotional Trauma in Addiction Wise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Patt Denning, Ph.D. on Harm Reduction Psychotherapy for Substance Abuse and AddictionWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Stefanie Goldstein, Ph.D. on Mindfulness and Addiction TestsLatest NewsComputer-Based Screening May Reduce Teen Substance AbuseTeen Impulsiveness Has Different Sources in ADHD, Substance UseAccelerated Aging Evident in Cocaine-Dependent IndividualsMany Who First Misuse Prescription Pills Get Them From Friends, Family: ReportCocaine Habit Might Speed Brain AgingUse of Ecstasy, Speed by Teens Tied to Later DepressionHalf of Young Cigarette Smokers Also Smoke Pot: Survey12-Step Meetings May Help Teens Beat Alcohol, Drug AbuseAlcohol Use With Opioids Common Even Without Abuse PastSubstance Abusers, Even Recovering Ones, May Face StigmaDrug, Alcohol Abuse Common Among U.S. Teens, Study FindsAlcohol Effects on Brain Activity Vary With Blackout HistoryPrenatal Meth Exposure Linked to Behavioral ProblemsExcessive Drinking Costs U.S. Colleges Millions AnnuallyKids Using Synthetic Pot a Growing Public Health ConcernSpring Break Boozing May Put Young Brains at RiskMany Alcoholics Suffered Childhood Trauma: StudyGenes Play a Role in Drug Abuse Risk Among Adopted Kids: StudyNarcotic Painkillers Another Threat to Traumatized War Vets: StudyDrinking Scenes in Movies May Spur Teens to Do the SameStrict Underage Drinking Laws May Deter Delinquency in TeensEcstasy Use During Pregnancy May Harm Fetus: StudySupport for Tougher Liquor Laws Rises When Booze, Crime LinkedBooze in Movies May Fuel Teenage Drinking1 in 10 U.S. Kids Lives With Parent Who Has Abused Alcohol: ReportStop-Smoking Drug May Also Curb Problem DrinkingIllicit Drugs Bought Off Internet May Be Poisons, Experts WarnHard Drug Use in Middle Age Could Prove Fatal, Study FindsDrinking Late in First Trimester May Be Most HazardousAlcohol Targets Brain 'Reward Centers' in Heavy DrinkersOne in Six Americans Binge Drink: CDCMeth Users Much More Likely to Try SuicideFor Some Couples, Binge Drinking Is RoutineStates Crack Down on Drunk Drivers This Holiday SeasonDrug Overdoses Kill More Americans Than Car Accidents: CDCAlcohol Use Down, Pot Use Up Among U.S. TeensDrunk Driving-Related Deaths Surge During the Holidays'Ecstasy' May Cause Long-Term Changes in Brain ChemistryToo Much Alcohol Linked to Unsafe Sex, Study ConfirmsIf Parents Drink and Drive, Their Kids May Too: StudySmart Kids More Likely to Try Illicit Drugs as Young AdultsHelping Others Helps Teens Beat Substance AbuseDrugs Slipped Into Drinks Sending Many to ER: ReportHeavy Meth Use Linked to Schizophrenia'Fake Marijuana' May Trigger Heart Trouble in TeensMore Than a Third of Teens Turning to Alcohol, Drugs: StudyMore People Landing in the ER After Abusing Muscle Relaxant: ReportDeaths From Abuse of Painkillers Triple in a Decade: CDCNational Drug Take-Back Day Scheduled for SaturdayPot Can Mimic Brain Changes Seen in Schizophrenia Questions and AnswersLinksBook ReviewsSelf-Help Groups |
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Is the memory of my father dooming my relationship?Sat, Jan 12th 2008Hello Dr Schwartz. Please help me: I have been in a relationship with a man who is kind but has smoked cannabis for twenty years and also drank up to one and a half bottles of whiskey every week, along with several bottles of red wine. I did not know this when we met and by the time I realised a couple of months later it was too late, I had fallen in love. To be fair he has given up the cannabis (a year ago) but can't stop smoking tobacco and he has reduced his alcohol intake although he still has to have some alcohol every day, be it beer or wine. If he has to go without he isn't happy about it but at least he can do that for a day; last year he would pretend to go without but indulged in secret drinking. I appreciate the efforts he has made but my father was an alcoholic (it killed him) and he also smoked cannabis and took other drugs for most of his adult life. I am the exact opposite, never smoke, hardly touch alcohol and am a fitness instructor at a gym. I get upset when my partner has to have alcohol every day. Am I being unreasonable? Is it normal to have a couple of alcoholic drinks every day? I do not know. None of my friends do this. He said he needed the alcohol and cannabis to help him with stress but he works from home and does not have a stressful job. I do understand that people manage stress in different ways but I do not think it is realistic or safe to depend on drugs as a way of coping. He used to have terrible mood swings but has been better of late. I love him but my fear is that he will eventually return to his former habits and I will end up like my mother in a bad relationship controlled by alcohol and drugs. Am I being too hard on him? I just do not know. Thank you. Kind regards, Elizabeth. THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.
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