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Basic InformationMore Information"I have benefited from AA and the 12 Steps... Very much so!"A Better MeetingAA Is To Shame As A Hot Knife Is To ButterAging and Alcohol UseAlcoholic's Anonymous, Outcomes and New Research on AlcoholismAlcoholics Anonymous (AA) is a Cult ?An Alternative to PowerlessnessAttachment to OutcomesAwakeningConcerning Problems Within AADefining and Understanding the Concept of Denial, Addictions and OtherwiseGauging the Effectiveness of One Component of Alcoholics AnonymousHow Drugs Affect The BrainHuffing: Parents and Kids BewareIts Never Too LateLike Phoenix Risen from the Ashes of Addiction, A New Addiction Recovery ProgramNIDA InfoFacts: Drug Abuse and AIDSNIDA InfoFacts: Drug Addiction Treatment MethodsNIDA InfoFacts: Drugged DrivingNIDA InfoFacts: Pregnancy and Drug Use TrendsNIDA InfoFacts: Understanding Drug Abuse and AddictionOn the Question of Medical MarijuanaPain Pills, A Real PainPerverse MotivationRandom Thoughts About Addiction, Delusions and HallucinationsRecoverySelf-EfficacyStaying Sober: Dealing With TemptationsSteering Versus DriftingThe Author of Your FateThe Enlightened PathThe Impeccable PathThe Mentality of ChildhoodThe OPEN PathThe Paradoxical Sinclair Method For Treating Alcohol DependenceTwo MindsWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Annie Fahy, MSW on Motivational InterviewingWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with John C. Fleming, MD on Preventing AddictionWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Laurence Westreich, MD on Helping Families Help Addicted MembersWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Marc Kern, Ph.D. on Rational Alternatives to Alcoholics AnonymousWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An interview with Morteza Khaleghi, Ph.D. on the Importance of Treating Emotional Trauma in Addiction Wise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Patt Denning, Ph.D. on Harm Reduction Psychotherapy for Substance Abuse and AddictionWise Counsel Interview Transcript: An Interview with Stefanie Goldstein, Ph.D. on Mindfulness and Addiction TestsLatest NewsComputer-Based Screening May Reduce Teen Substance AbuseTeen Impulsiveness Has Different Sources in ADHD, Substance UseAccelerated Aging Evident in Cocaine-Dependent IndividualsMany Who First Misuse Prescription Pills Get Them From Friends, Family: ReportCocaine Habit Might Speed Brain AgingUse of Ecstasy, Speed by Teens Tied to Later DepressionHalf of Young Cigarette Smokers Also Smoke Pot: Survey12-Step Meetings May Help Teens Beat Alcohol, Drug AbuseAlcohol Use With Opioids Common Even Without Abuse PastSubstance Abusers, Even Recovering Ones, May Face StigmaDrug, Alcohol Abuse Common Among U.S. Teens, Study FindsAlcohol Effects on Brain Activity Vary With Blackout HistoryPrenatal Meth Exposure Linked to Behavioral ProblemsExcessive Drinking Costs U.S. Colleges Millions AnnuallyKids Using Synthetic Pot a Growing Public Health ConcernSpring Break Boozing May Put Young Brains at RiskMany Alcoholics Suffered Childhood Trauma: StudyGenes Play a Role in Drug Abuse Risk Among Adopted Kids: StudyNarcotic Painkillers Another Threat to Traumatized War Vets: StudyDrinking Scenes in Movies May Spur Teens to Do the SameStrict Underage Drinking Laws May Deter Delinquency in TeensEcstasy Use During Pregnancy May Harm Fetus: StudySupport for Tougher Liquor Laws Rises When Booze, Crime LinkedBooze in Movies May Fuel Teenage Drinking1 in 10 U.S. Kids Lives With Parent Who Has Abused Alcohol: ReportStop-Smoking Drug May Also Curb Problem DrinkingIllicit Drugs Bought Off Internet May Be Poisons, Experts WarnHard Drug Use in Middle Age Could Prove Fatal, Study FindsDrinking Late in First Trimester May Be Most HazardousAlcohol Targets Brain 'Reward Centers' in Heavy DrinkersOne in Six Americans Binge Drink: CDCMeth Users Much More Likely to Try SuicideFor Some Couples, Binge Drinking Is RoutineStates Crack Down on Drunk Drivers This Holiday SeasonDrug Overdoses Kill More Americans Than Car Accidents: CDCAlcohol Use Down, Pot Use Up Among U.S. TeensDrunk Driving-Related Deaths Surge During the Holidays'Ecstasy' May Cause Long-Term Changes in Brain ChemistryToo Much Alcohol Linked to Unsafe Sex, Study ConfirmsIf Parents Drink and Drive, Their Kids May Too: StudySmart Kids More Likely to Try Illicit Drugs as Young AdultsHelping Others Helps Teens Beat Substance AbuseDrugs Slipped Into Drinks Sending Many to ER: ReportHeavy Meth Use Linked to Schizophrenia'Fake Marijuana' May Trigger Heart Trouble in TeensMore Than a Third of Teens Turning to Alcohol, Drugs: StudyMore People Landing in the ER After Abusing Muscle Relaxant: ReportDeaths From Abuse of Painkillers Triple in a Decade: CDCNational Drug Take-Back Day Scheduled for SaturdayPot Can Mimic Brain Changes Seen in Schizophrenia Questions and AnswersLinksBook ReviewsSelf-Help Groups |
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I get violentWed, Jul 25th 2007Hi there... I have a really big problem... Occasionally when i'm drunk, I get violent with my boyfriend. We've not been back together long since it broke us up before, but on saturday I got really out of control. I dont remember any of it, but he's told me what I was saying and doing. It seems that I say anything I can to hurt him and push him away. Some of the things I say may have some truth to them, but I wouldn't dream of saying them normally, and some things I totally don't mean at all... It's like he becomes my enemy. I have no respect for him and just want to hurt him in anyway that I can... I keep telling him to go away, but in the worst way you could imagine. He loves me so much, so he wont leave, he'll just keep taking it from me. I think it lasted for 3 hours on saturday. I have never had this problem before with anyone, and i cant figure out why it happens. I have been trying to overcome some issues I have for the last 3 years, but all the various routes I have tried haven't really helped. I do need more therapy, and I was thinking about cognitive behavioural therapy, but I dont know if that would help with this problem. I know that I need to talk to someone about all of this, but I dont know who. There most definitely are underlying causes to this problem, but I cant figure it out, and having tried so many forms of therapy, I dont really want to waste time doing the wrong thing. I really need to sort this out, asap! I have never had this problem with anyone before. I really do love my boyfriend, he's amazing with my disabled son, and puts up with the roller coaster I ride with my depression, but this is too much for him to take, and I dont want it to ever happen again. I cant live with the shame I feel because of it. I dont want to hurt him, I love him.. but why do I do it to him?! If you have any advice, i'd be very very greatful. THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION WILL NOT BE DISPLAYED UNTIL YOU HAVE INDICATED YOUR AGREEMENT WITH THE DISCLAIMER PRINTED JUST BELOW. CLICK THE 'I AGREE' BUTTON TO AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND SEE THE RESPONSE.
- 'Anne' is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
- 'Anne' bases her responses on her personal experiences and not on professional training or study. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort. Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only.
- Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual(s).
- Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses.
- No correspondence takes place.
- No ongoing relationship of any sort (including but not limited to any form of professional relationship) is implied or offered by 'Anne' to people submitting questions.
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- Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.
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